Happy New Year 2018 from Bernie The Monkey

Hello Friends: This is Bernie the Monkey wishing you all the best at Memorial, Centennial and Ottawa in the coming 12 months. We are all caught in a deep freeze right now and have been since before Christmas 2017. But that does not mean that ol' Bernie the Monkey's noggin, heart and spirit are not firing on all cylinders and sending you all positive vibes and thoughts. Laura, know that you are never far from his thoughts and never will be. And, if I am right about the psychological meme that dogs our "special family", the feeling may, in an unexpected way, be strangely mutual. Fortunately salvation is at hand... if you decide to avail yourseklf of it. The meme structure has been completely demystified. But it is one heck of a tough meme to counter or disarm. Like a person's appendix or tonsils, it can be removed. But it is not a physical organ. It is a line of code that got twisted in an earlier generation. In this case in four days never to return again. No more anxiety, no more intense anger at the mere thought of my creator! JUST imagine getting that "monkey off your back" (present company exempted) for good. Good riddance, I should think. But it is up to you now. We cannot make it vanish without you. The ball is in your court now, Laura et al. I have learned how it first entered the family system at least one or two generations before your mom and I first came on the scene. I also understand how and roughly when it got triggered in our immediate family. Ironically, at its very root is a deep-seared fear of abandonment. I say 'ironically' because if left unchecked (as it currently in our family) it leads inexorably to exactly that. to want it gone. Four days is all that is required. What I spent over 20 years trying to understand, has finally been understood by a man named Childress. It stands to benefit ot only us, but by dozens of "special families" across North America and around the world. We have seen in the last five years, a landmark leap in our understanding of this psychological meme that, if left unchecked, will continue to be a source of anxiety, anger (sadness), and unnecessary negative emotions for two or three of the most important people in my creator's life. If you don't believe me; if you are anxious or angry at the thought of shaking off a dastardly meme that has dogged you for more years now than not, consider this: You have nothing to lose but a lot of pent-up anxiety and anger. When you were a girl, you once described yourself as having "daddy issues", in fact, £ now understand, it is just a twisted and knoþed "attachment system" that is the source of your unresolved Anger (grief). Dr. Childress explains what is going on very well in the series of YouTube videos entitled "Dr. Childress speaks with the Child". You may doubt that you Dad could ever "get you", Laura, in the sense of ever really understanding who you really are, or ever hoping to love and appreciate your uniqueness, brilliance, and amazing skill set. But that would be a less than accurate assessment of me and us. What both connects us and seperates us... at the same time, Laura, is our unresolved attachment system. It is as old as the caveman and operates below the surface. It is part of our 'operating system's, just like DOS is part of the Microsoft operating system. Imagine trying to work with a floppy disk or CD Rom that had a scratch on it. Or try playing a CD of Mozart that has a scratch on it. How frustrating would that be. Everytime you want to listen to Mozart, you would hear on the scratch. In the case of a twisted and knotted attachment system, though, it is worse. Because you cannot simply go to the store and buy a replacement copy. No, as humans, we are each issued just one attachment system. It operates below the surface. It helps regulate emotions and keep things on an even keel. I did not know about the attachment system until ours inadvertently got so out of whack, Laura. Much of what I have learned about it in the last five years, I have been listening to an audiobook entitled "Man's Search for Meaning" by Victor Frankl. "if you know the 'WHY", Frankl writes, you can survive any "HOW". Frankl made this observation while spending three years in Dachau and Auchwitz concentration camps. He observed HOW the camp experience affected inmates differently. He saw some strong healthy inmates fall victim to illness and die, while others who were less hardy or robust at the beginning somehow survived. He wondered "why"? What he learned has helped me in my life in the last six years. You see it was Dr. J. N. who first told me about a slim volume called Man's Search for Meaning one of the first times I met him. I know you may not hold Dr. J. N. in very high regard, but the observations of Dr. Frankl are profound and transformational. How would you feel, Laura, if I told you that you have given me the greatest gift anyone could bestow or receive? It is true. You forced me to re-examine myself in ways that no one else has ever done. You see, I too am attached to the other end of that attachment system that Dr. CHILDRESS SPEAKS SO MUCH ABOUT IN HIS BOOKS AND HIS VIDEOS. That means that we are inextricably linked and will remain so unless and until the 4-day treatment occurs. Except in my case, there isn't the anger that you may feel. Just a sadness at lost potential for love and an everpresent longing to make things right so that love can again flow unimpeded. And a sense of regret as well as some sense of culpability. Afterall surely it was my actions that have led us down this particular garden path? Again I wish you all a wonderful year and look forward to the day when the psychological meme is defeated for our family so that future generations can love each other and enjoy healthy, positive attachments. I MAY HAVE stumbled onto Dr. Childress and his remarkable research. But I have no doubt this particular problem will be licked within your lifetime. Not just for you and your family but for all families. The good news is that there is nothing wrong with you. Your ability to love or show empathy is not permanently impaired. It is just buried under a twisted and knotted attachment system. If you have read Bowlby, you will understand. He was the first researcher to map the attachment system with the help of a brilliant Canadian woman named Ainsworth. Look up her 'strange room' experiments to understand how she figured out the attachment system. You were right Laura, it was not BPD, it was not a three-word syndrome... It was something else altogether. A series of accepted psychological mechanisms built into humans to protect them... But that become diverted by a transgenerational meme and take you down a bath of anxiety, depression, a sense that you will never be good enough or loveable, etc. But you Dad IS DOGGED AND PERSISTANT. HE IS NOT GOING TO LET SOME DATARDLY PSYCHOLOGICAL MEME WRECK HIS LIFE and you should not LET it either. A woman named Dorcy Pruter had the same thing happen to her (as a child) as has befallen you and your family. It was only once she married that she saw it from the other side. It led her to develop a 4-day catalytic solution that will work for anyone in your shoes. If it turns out you and Corey's experiences had the same root cause, you will know within the first hour of talking with her. But I was an adult when you were a little girl, so I am able to glean things in retrospect that you may not be able to recall. My online mentor and guru Charlie Hunger says to always 'invert'. So that is what I have done for the last five years. I have inverted the entire process and played it out I reverse back to its arliest origins. And i know that the intense and unremmiting anger you feel is coming from a different place or source than you might think. As Childress says, it is coming from a place of sadness not of anger. Of course the anger you feel is real, but it is not the whole story. If you are ever able to contemplate a life without anxiety and dad-focused anger, then you are ready for the 4-day solution. But the next step has to come from you. I am master of myself but have no agency over others. Note; this solution does not require mental health counselling. It is instated a catLetic answer. One developed by others who went through what you went through. There is no more elegant solution than that. The success rate according to Childress and Pruter is virtually 100 percent. And it allows you to have a loving, attached relationship with BOTH your parents and sibling. I would never recommend a solution that would impair youur relationship with the other parent. My goal with this blog is to tell you that Pruter'# conscious co-parenting solution is a win-win for ALL members of the family. It is not an adversarial solution pitting one family member against another. Instead it is a solution that respect the role of each family member and allows all family members to live in love and harmony with each other. The attachment system is remarkable. But sometimes something happens in a previous generation that creates a warp in the system. childress and Pruter figured out what is really going on and found a way to allow All family members to find love and peace again. No more sense of worthlessness or unlovability or failure to ever be good enough. All members of our immediate family are loveable, goo enough already, and worthy of being loved. Just find a way to reach out to me (after looking at the 'Dr. Childress speaks with the child's videos. My guess is that it will speak to all members of our small, special family. The just find a way to reach out to me and we will solve this attachment problem and get on twitch simply loving each other again. Yours sincerely, Bernie The Monkey